When I read Trevor Noah's book Born a Crime, one of the things that resonated deeply with me was the fact that although Noah does not look like folks in any of the South African tribes (as his dad is white and his mother is black), his ability to speak the tribal dialects was what qualified his belonging in all the groups, which possibly saved his life on at least one occasion. This resonates with me because my kids are biracial. By physical appearance alone, white folks think my son looks Asian and Asian folks think he looks white -- a foreigner by all measures. (Even as a baby, when I took him by myself to a bakery in Monterey Park, CA, the store clerks asked me whether his dad is white, because he is so fair.) Noah's story reinforced for me the necessity to teach my children to speak Chinese. If they could speak Mandarin, then they will share immediate kinship with others who speak the same dialect.
Ever since my son L was born, I started to speak to him in Mandarin almost exclusively. For a long time, I was not sure it made any difference. My parents lived out of state, and because my mom was terminally ill, she was never able to travel to us, and my son had only limited exposure to his grandparents during our brief visits. (I visited regularly, but since my mom was often in the hospital, I usually left my son at home with my husband and travelled solo.) I was the only person who regularly spoke to my toddler in Mandarin. I remember the first time he responded to a Mandarin command to hand me a ball. I was elated! From that point on, I continued my commitment to read to him in Mandarin as much as possible. Whenever we would get a new English book, I would read to him initially in both languages (English and Chinese), and then slowly transition to reading solely in Mandarin as I ironed out the most natural translations in my own head. Recently, I started following a Facebook group of parents who are teaching their kids to be equally fluent in Chinese and English. I was surprised by the kids' fluency in Chinese, even after being raised abroad! Some of their children can debate in Chinese and read and memorize lots of academic facts in Chinese, seemingly on par with their peers who grew up in Asia. It forced me to reflect about my goals as a parent. How much fluency do I want for my children? How much am I willing to push them in order to accomplish that goal? Short version (this is no judgment to anyone else, just my personal view for my own children): I think it is most important for me to facilitate an interest and a basic oral foundation of the language. I want to lay down a foundation so that if either of my children were to be interested in becoming fluent in Mandarin, they could do so without too much barrier. But, if they decide that it is not something that is important to them, like anything else in life, I cannot force it upon them simply because it is my hope for them to achieve proficiency. This is already a long post. In a future post, I will follow up with what I have already tried to do and what I have seen in L, my oldest child. I would also love to hear from you, if you are also a parent of a bilingual household! What are your long-term goals for your children?
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About MeBorn in Asia, I have spent more than a third of my life living outside of the U.S. thus far. I currently reside in the Pacific Northwest with my techie husband and two biracial children. Categories
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July 2021
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